Krysti

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While I was on a 3-month vacation in Europe I met a guy and we quickly fell for each other. I got pregnant and when I told him he reacted very poorly and immediately wanted an abortion. I on the other hand wanted to have it. I had no footing though since I didn't have a job, medical insurance, a car, or a home back in the States since I left all to go to Europe. I felt angry with him for not supporting me. I was in love with him and I quickly saw that it wasn't as mutual as I thought. I loved the baby growing inside of me and felt so connected and so PREGNANT. I had every symptom known to man and while it was annoying and a little scary I felt fine with it. Once I arrived back in the States I knew right away I needed to abort due to my circumstances. The pregnancy was already causing me some medical issues and I could see how quickly the bills would add up not having health insurance. I made an appointment at Planned Parenthood for the following week and just went numb for the child inside me. Denial. I felt a lot of relief immediately afterwards but the next 6 months were very hard for me. I was heartbroken over the stupid guy who abandoned me and over my lost child. I was rebuilding my life essentially but I was a broken person. Luckily my best friend was extremely supportive and I got through those times. When I find myself regretting my decision it always boils down to what the hell else would I have done! I started to have phantom pregnancies at that point and I could tell I had been traumatized. I should have seeked professional help but it really didn't cross my mind. 5 years later and I'm finally doing what I should've right away. My best advice to anyone that needs an abortion is to not deny yourself help afterwards. It can save you so much agony. Sometimes abortions need to happen and we cannot beat ourselves up about it. I know I made the right decision no matter how hard it was/is.

2013 United States

What were your feelings about doing the abortion/s?

They were endless. But overall I was NUMB. I couldn't cry until a week afterward when I broke down watching a woman on T.V. who sacrificed her life for her baby's.

How did you do the abortion?

When I arrived at the clinic there were protestors outside and all I could think is "how appalling, do you think I don't feel bad enough as it is?" I overheard a few girls in the waiting area saying it was their 3rd....abortion...4th abortion. I couldn't believe it was so common. Hearing the vacuum sound through the walls wasn't very comforting. The actual procedure seemed so fast but right before they began I wanted to jump off the table and run. The only thing that kept me on was thinking how much worse it would be in 8 or so months with child labor and no one to support me through it.

What was your situation at this time?

I didn't have health insurance, a car, a job, or my own place (living with parents)

How did other people react to your abortion?

Basically everyone wanted me to have one. I felt pressured.

legal/illegal