Beth Smith

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I was with my parter for three and a half years when i fell pregnant. I was diagnosed with POS (Polycystic ovaries syndrome) at age 15 and was told that i would need help when i wanted to have a child. Because of this contraception wasn't important as we were convinced that i wouldn't fall pregnant.... until i went on holiday and found myself feeling sick in the morning, having mood swings and having extremely tender nipples. Instead of feeling happy, we just looked at each other and cried. He doesn't have a stable job, I'm currently studying whilst were both living at home. It just wasn't right.

We went to the abortion clinic so i could have a scan to find out how far along i was. I decided i didn't want to see the screen with the scan on, and felt ok until i saw the pictures she had took of the scan that she was looking at right in front of me. It just looked like a little bean, but that was my little bean. I kept it together until i got out the room and broke down in the toilets.

After a couple weeks going back and forth on what to do, and with a heavy heart we finally decided to go through with it. i was 10 weeks, and went with a medical abortion under anaesthetic. When i came round i felt fine.... i think i was still high though. On the first night, i couldt stop crying. I don't think I've ever experience grief like it before in my life. Although i knew deep down that it was for the best and wouldn't of been fair to keep it, it doesn't help with the sadness and guilt that you feel afterwards. Because i had no idea how to deal with the grief, my boyfriend suggested that writing a letter about what happened, then burying it in a place we can go visit whenever we feel down about it. Ive wrote the letter (which was extremely painful) and were just deciding on where to bury it.

I don't think i will ever get over this and it is something that will always lay heavy on my heart, which i will think about every day.

2015 United Kingdom

What were your feelings about doing the abortion/s?

grief.

How did you do the abortion?

Extremely quick and painless.

What was your situation at this time?

N/A

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

N/A.

How did other people react to your abortion?

everyone we told were extremely supportive. at first we were only going to tell my boyfriends sister (she had been through the same thing a couple yeas before) and she said that whatever we decide would be the right decision. I wasn't going to tell my mom until someone posted a horrible article about abortion (i won't repeat what was said) but it broke me to pieces, then i had to tell her. She was so supportive and was just upset that i hadn't told her sooner.

legal/illegal

What is your religion?

C123

CRÓNICAS DE UNA MUJER QUE DECIDIÓ NO TRAER UN HIJO A ESTE MUNDO...

Magui

La mejor decisión

Karolina

Miałam aborcję.

Butterfly

Bylam za granica kiedy postanowilam zrobic pierwszy test ciazowy. Okres…

Lorena Lore

Yo aborte con 5 semanas de gestacion !! No ago responsable a nadie yo me ago…

carmilla

J'ai avorté quand j'avais 18 ans. Je ne le regrette pas, je suis fière d'avoir…

Jessi

No olvidemos, que nos haga crecer

Missy

My story - at 6 weeks and 5 days

dh

Ik heb een abortus gehad

XHTarv

Too selfish, and ok with that for now.

elizabet campos

aborte hace 3 semanas y tenia un embarazo de 3 semanas nose aun si fue la…

Katarzyna

Nie mogłam mieć dziecka z kilku powodów: jeszcze się uczę, chłopak w ogóle nie…

Ary

Yo he abortado 4 veces.

cinthia

Yo aborte Hola soy de Mexico y en mi pais es ilegal abortar excepto en el D.F.

carolina

Interrumpi mi embarazo de un mes y medio

mary cry

pior momento de minha vida