I had an abortion when I was 21. I knew right away that I was pregnant--within 2 days after conception. My body reacted immediately. I felt like I had a parasite growing inside of me. This was all due to having changed birth control methods, specifically nuva ring. For whatever reason it did not work.
The next month of my life, waiting for the time when I could take the pregnancy test, was the longest and most stressful I'd ever had. During that month, I found out that my boyfriend at the time was actively using heroin. While I did have my mind made up that I would not be bringing a child into the world, that was the icing on the cake. There was no way I would raise a child with a father that was a heroin addict.
I went the pill method for my abortion. It cost me over $400, which I made my boyfriend pay for. I was so scared and alone. But I did it. It was safe and fast.
I told myself I wouldn't let my abortion be for nothing, so I decided to go travel afterwards. I ended up living in Thailand and teaching English for a year. I will never forget it. All because I chose to live my life for me.
Now I have found a partner that I am happy to call mine and am excited to make him a father. We are going to be great parents now because we are ready for it--or at least as ready as you can possibly be.
2011 United States
What were your feelings about doing the abortion/s?
I would be living a very different life if I had not had an abortion. I would have been remorseful. I would have blamed my former partner and the baby for my unhappiness. I would have been financially destitute, living on welfare. And most likely would not have finished my education.
How did you do the abortion?
It was fast, easy, and not too painful. Just like period cramps.
What was your situation at this time?
Problems with my relationship Education Opportunity Financial issues Other personal reasons
Benze ntoni abanye abantu xa ukhupha isisu?
Most of my friends and family were supportive--if they weren't they didn't say so. My boyfriend, on the other hand, harrassed me for months afterward. He would send me texts saying that he'd overdosed and the only thing that brought him back was me and the thought of having a child with me. He'd guilt trip me over getting the abortion saying, "I can't believe you did that. My parents would have helped you." Finally I got so mad that I rallied my friends. We went over to my house and threatened physical violence unless he left me alone. No texts. No phone calls. No letters. No social media. Nothing. I found it in myself to forgive him later. But that took quite a bit of time. Now he is sober, which is good to see. But we will never be friends again.
What is your religion?
I had an abortion and I'm not ashamed
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