M

First, I want to thank "Women on Web" for making this abortion possible. Abortion is illegal in my current country and it would have been a hopeless situation. Especially in Corona times, when travelling is more difficult..

2021 Malta

relieved

I was very scared before and very relieved after.

with medicines

I have to say, the abortion was kind of a traumatizing experience for me, however, I still want to share my story, as it may help women to be *prepared*. The story might sound frightening to you, so if you think it may affect or disturb you, I recommend *not* to read it. My story: I took Mifepristone 24 hours before. I didn't have any side effects and my nausea vanished almost completely. I started with Ibuprofen 400 mg, 1 hour before the actual abortion (23 hours after Mifepristone) Time to take the first dose of Misoprostol. As I didn't feel any pain for the first hours I got a little bit impatient. Lying there and waiting for "it" to start, felt kind of weird. The actual pain started 2,5 - 3 hours after the first dose of Misoprostol. I got diarrhea and had to go to the toilet multiple times. Time for the second dose of Misoprostol and one more Ibuprofen 400mg. After 4 hours the pain got stronger and stronger and I found myself lying on the bathroom floor. I made it to bed some minutes later and lied down for some time. Suddenly, I felt blood coming out.. However, it was already too late. The blood got through the XXL pads, my panties, and leggings. I felt blood running down my legs and I lost it all my way to the bathroom. Blood was basically everywhere. I set down on the toilet screaming and crying.. not because of pain or the abortion itself. More because of this feeling of blood loss and not being able to control it. I felt very helpless and also humiliated by sitting in my own blood. Now to the good parts: After this, the cramps disappeared almost completely and I was able to relax for a bit. However, whenever I got up I felt the bleeding. It felt very uncomfortable and I was also scared of going to the toilet (feeling and seeing all this blood.. and maybe even the fetus..) Time to take the 3rd dose (I assumed that I was in the 10th week and I wanted to make sure..). The bleeding continued, I didn't feel any pain anymore. Finally, I was able to have dinner (I started at 2:15 pm and ended at 11 pm) and went to bed. I slept very well that night. When I woke up in the morning I was a little bit afraid of getting up because of my "bloody experience". Therefore, I tried to go to the bathroom as soon and fast as possible. And indeed.. when I set down on the toilet I felt a lot of blood and it also felt different this time. Like a bubble or balloon coming out. (Maybe the fetus..?) I didn't check, as I didn't want to see it. Now, more than 24 hours later I am feeling very well! No nausea, no diarrhea, no cramps. I am still bleeding (it got less) and very little abdominal pain. Doing the abortion was definitely the right decision for me, even though it was a hell of an experience! I don't want to scare anybody but I want other women to be prepared. Remember: Yours doesn't have to go this way and I wish you all the best and a lot of strength! You can do it! I really recommend NOT going through this alone. Take your mother, your best friend, husband, or boyfriend to be with you, as this can be emotionally draining.

my personal reasons for not wanting a child

I love being independent and don't feel like having a child at this stage of my life.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

Yes and no. I was scared of having complications and going to the hospital.

How did other people react to your abortion?

I told my boyfriend and three of my friends only. All of them were very supportive and understanding. I didn't tell my parents as I didn't want them to feel sad or concerned. I know they would love to have a grandchild.

illegal

Christianity