My abortions defined my life choices for decades
1986 United States
What were your feelings about doing the abortion/s?
I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.
How did you do the abortion?
Both times were done in a clinic.
What was your situation at this time?
I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.
다른 사람들은 당신의 낙태에 대해 어떻게 반응 했습니까?
Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.
What is your religion?
Yo aborté! porque es mi derecho!
Dzien w którym potwierdzila sie moja ciaza był jak wyrocznia... Mam dużo swoich…
Abortei aos 17 anos.
I was so scared but it was right and I know deep in my heart now.
Siedziałam przed psychiatrą, opowiadając jej wydarzenia sprzed ostatnich…
E no começo me arrependi mas vi que seria a melhor opção, e escrevendo meu…
I had an abortion and now feel I have 10kgs off my shoulders alone, a little…
Porque no era el momento indicado y los anticonceptivos fallaron.
I had two abortions
Stosowałam pigułki i nie zwróciłam uwagi na to, że problemy żołądkowe mogły…
Nunca hubiera querido estar en esa encrucijada
I had an abortion
i'm irish, i had an abortion while living in the netherlands.
Your a strong women!
Miałam aborcję... to była trudna decyzja, nigdy nie zapomnę...
¿decisión o "me hice a la idea"?
Yo he abortado 4 veces.
I had the SAFEST ABORTION even in the PHILIPPINES through womenonweb.org.