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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Silvia García

decidi abortar porque no tengo la economía para tener un hijo y hoy en día los…

Andreita

yo aborte

Jamie

And I am so happy! I am so lucky that I had the choice to have an abortion! The…

Liz Price

I had an abortion

Catarina Fernando

Tenho 18 anos e os meus pais nunca iriam aceitar que eu tivesse um filho com…

Aby

I felt it was accapted to have an abortion

Mar Tina

Todo es muy reciente ... estoy recuperandome hace tan solo dos dias que sucedio.

Daisy

Miałam aborcję. I nie jestem z tego dumna.
19 lutego 2020 roku zrobiłam test…

Luiza N.

Minha história foi completamente diferente de tudo que li aqui no site…

Atenea

No eres la única. No estás sola. Transformalo en algo positivo para tu vida.

Julieta Iovaldi Curutchet

Decidí desde el principio no compartir esa experiencia con la pareja de ese…

Uma Mulher

Pra mim, fazer um aborto foi um ato de responsabilidade

Lili

I interrupted my early pregnancy

Daniela

Tengo una hija de 4 años, pero aun asi yo aborte este año.

Natasha

I had come off the contraceptive pill as it had me feeling un well, we thought…

Rachelle

I have had 3 abortions, one clinical, 2 medical. I do not regret those…

BC

Depois de algum tempo lendo os depoimentos por aqui, decidi deixar também o meu.