I got pregnant the first time I had sex. I was just 18 and knew nothing. I was desperately in love with the father, who was older than me. I knew we should be using a condom, I even said that to him the night I lost my virginity, but he still had sex with me without one.
He also had a fiancée. I thought he would leave her for me, I was stupid and believed every word he said.
I just knew I couldn’t have a baby, I was barely an adult myself and I was scared. I made up my mind I had to have an abortion, it was my only option.
After I had the procedure I felt relief. Then when I got back home the father rang me and told me it was over between us. It shattered me. He had a baby with his fiancée a year later.
Twenty years on and I still feel regret about my decision. I feel as though it may have been my only chance to have a child and the whole experience has really fucked me up.
Of course when I consider the situation I think I made the right choice but it doesn’t make the pain any less.
What were your feelings about doing the abortion/s?
The awful thing is your feelings can change as you get older. I never thought I would feel so sad about having an abortion when I was so convinced it was the right thing to do when I was young.
How did you do the abortion?
I was scared as hell and thought I may actually die. I realise now I must have been in severe shock. All I remember was walking down a dark corridor into a surgical room, then I remember lying down with my legs in stirrups, counting back from ten. Then I woke up and some nurse was checking a pad between my legs to see how bad the bleeding was. It is literally like a nightmare that happened to someone else.
What was your situation at this time?
I wanted to go to University
Hat die Illegalität Ihres Schwangerschaftsabbruchs Ihre Gefühle beeinflusst?
Wie haben andere Menschen auf Ihre Abtreibung reagiert?
My family was very supportive.
What is your religion?
...Lo quería pero no podía
E não me arrependo, não se culpe por isso
Você é dona de si.
Eu sou bem jovem
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