Anna

I told my sister and my closest friends. While no one questioned the morality of what I had decided to do, there was judgment, I'd even say shock and disbelief, when I told people how devastated I was at first, especially from male friends. "You didn't love him, so why are you sorry you did it?"

They couldn't see how there would be any place for mourning. One of them was so appalled by my grief that he thought I had become mentally ill, literally.

Unsurprisingly, the only person who could relate was a friend who'd had an abortion long before me. She was younger than I was and had no desire to have children then (still doesn't), yet she completely understood my sorrow.

I could not face the surgical abortion, even though I knew it was the one least likely to result in complications. I wanted it to be the closest possible thing to an early miscarriage. There was a small scare, post-procedure. While I didn't lose my ability to bear children, I would not risk it again.

I was 27 and quite capable of raising a kid, both emotionally and financially. But my life was in flux, as were my feelings for the man I was with.

He reacted strongly to the news that I was pregnant. He said he didn't want it. He went through the whole thing with me and I know it had a huge impact on him, but from the moment he said he wasn't ready to be a father, I mentally removed him from the equation. I appreciated his presence, as I did his financial contribution, but I knew then our relationship would not last.

I had wanted a baby with my previous partner. Had he been the father, I would've kept it. That made my decision all the more difficult.

I didn't deal with it for a year, and then I cracked. For a long time I thought I'd regret it because I had wanted children so badly.

I believe in personal choice and there were no issues of morals or guilt. But I had always thought of myself as a careful, educated woman. Up to that point, abortion was always something that happened to others.

I decided hastily to have the abortion. I wished I'd taken more time to think it over. After it happened, I wasn't sure it was the right choice for me. I felt weak and selfish.

I still think that if I'd taken more time to decide, I would have had the baby and not been sorry. I'd have had my family's support and the child would have been adored and cared for by everyone around me. I can't imagine having stayed in that relationship, but I was (and still am) at ease with the idea of being a single mother.

Three years later, I know I don't regret my decision. I moved away and am married to someone else.