Kate

The whole thing was so fast. I barely thought about it since I never have wanted kids. My boyfriend at the time was raised Catholic so he was dissapointed about my decision, so was my mom. I don't have any friends, so while both these people have said my decision okay, I can't help but think they are dissatisfied. Plus I feel a bit angry that they didn't try harder to dissuade me. Generally speaking I am barely hanging on in this world and I am ready to die, since I don't have any desire to have a job or make friends and I am pretty lazy about doing fun things. I'm afraid to tell my dad because I think he will tell his family and they will all hold a grudge against me. I am not sure if I should be sad or not and it confuses me because anytime I do feel sad, I wonder if it's because of the abortion or if the abortion is really just an excuse for me to hold onto so that I can cry successfully.