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My husband was upset and said some terrible things.. like if you do not want this baby then we should split up.. My friend supported me but were afraid I would have regrets- I did not tell more than 3 people.

Once I was inside- I was ok. I was told of my options, I was not forced into anything. I used the sedation drug - I was only 5 weeks along but did not choose the pills because I thought it would be difficult to care for my son. I was upset for a few days, but went though the stages of grief- and now am at peace with my choice.

My husband had a cocaine addiction that had bankrupted us. My college educated husband with a good job I might add. I had left him for a month while he went to rehab for the third time that year. I found out a few months after his return that I was preg. again (our son was 9 months old). I could not bring another child into this relationship. We had no money, it was uncertain if he would keep his job, I was not working because I could not trust him to watch my son or leave the house with any kind of money. He relapsed several times after the last rehab. I was so upset- I contacted my pastor at our progressive church and she supported me though the entire process. It was a hard choice to make, but I believe I made the right one. I could not have provided a life for 2 children - I was afraid for the one I had and I take pride in being able to provide for my child and have the resources to care for them. My husband has not used cocaine sense the day before I had the abortion - although he could any day. It did seem to have an impact on him- that he could not have a family and continue the way he was going.

When I found out I was preg. I made an appointment - the earliest I could get it was a week away. That week was the hardest.. I had a 9 month old and I LOVE being a mom- I love him more than I ever thought possible. I thought about him having a sibling and if I was taking that away from him. I thought about having to raise two babies on my own and how I could ever give enough of myself to both because of the situation. I thought about having to raise two children in a home with addiction. I thought about growing up myself with a mother who abuses drugs, I want the best for my children - I wanted to have some control over my situation and what was best for me and my family. It was not the right time to bring a child into our family and I stand by that. I did grieve- but I am now at peace with myself and my choice. I believe God understands as well- and that the child I could not have at that time will go to someone who will be able to care for it. It does hurt when you hear people call women who have abortions terrible names- but when I sit in church on sundays I feel at peace and that is all that matters.