JEM

NO ONE KNOWS... IT'S JUST BETWEEN ME AND THE WOMEN ON WEB... AND MY BOYFRIEND.

IT HAPPENED JUST LIKE AS I EXPECTED. I READ A LOT ABOUT THE MEDICATIONS SO I ALREADY KNEW WHAT WERE THE THINGS TOBE EXPECTED AND THE THINGS TO BE DONE. I FELT CONFIDENT ABOUT IT. IT GAVE ME LESS FEAR AND WORRIES.

IT'S MY DREAM TO HAVE A CHILD WELL BROUGHT UP,EDUCATED, AND EVERYTHING I CAN GIVE TO HIM, BUT HAVING IT AT THE MOMENT IS A FAILURE OF THAT DREAM. I DON'T HAVE YET A JOB THAT CAN SUSTAIN A FAMILY ON MY OWN. I AM NOT YET READY FINANCIALLY. IT'S REALLY A WRONG TIMING.
i AM STILL AT THE BEGINNING OF MY CAREER, I HAVE PLANS TO GO ABROAD AND GETTING PREGNANT AS OF THE MOMENT IS A HINDRANCE OF THAT PLAN.
MY PARENTS ARE SO STRICT.

ACTUALLY IT'S A MIX FEELINGS. i FEEL RELIEVED BECAUSE MY PROBLEM WAS ALREADY SOLVED, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL THE GUILT BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID, MY CULTURE REALLY FORMED ME TO BE A PRO-LIFE AND MY CONSCIENCE IS TELLING ME I DID A GRAVE SIN. BUT SOMEHOW I KNOW WHAT I DID IS RIGHT.SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE BETWEEN CHOOSING WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG. WHAT COULD BE RIGHT FOR US COULD BE WRONG IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.BUT WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT WE COMMUNICATED WITH THE SUPREME BEING...GOD. THAT ARE MIND MAY TELL US ITS WRONG, BUT AS LONG AS HE KNOWS WE'RE DOING IT FOR A GENUINE PURPOSE THEN EVERYTHING COULD BE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT... DON'T BE AFRAID TO EXERCISE YOUR FREEWILL, BUT NEVER ABUSE NOR MISUSE IT. IF ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU DID A MISTAKE, DON'T LET THAT MISTAKE RUIN YOUR LIFE OR MAKE OTHERS LIFE MISERABLE. STAND UP, ASK FOR HELP FROM OTHER RELIABLE PERSONS, MOST OF ALL ASK HELP FROM GOD... JUST LIKE WHAT I DID.

FOR SURE IF I WILL TELL TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES OF WHAT I HAVE DONE, THEY WON'T UNDERSTAND. SOME MAY JUDGE ME, WORST THEY'LL TREAT ME LIKE THE MOST SINFUL OF ALL. IT'S IN OUR CULTURE HERE. BUT AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU DID IT FOR AN UNSELFISH REASONS AND YOU ALREADY HAVE TALKED TO GOD THEN EVERYTHING IS OK. AFTER ALL YOU NEVER KNOW, EVERYTHING IS PLANNED FOR YOU.

I LEARNED A LOT OF THINGS FROM MY EXPERIENCE. I REALIZED SO MANY THINGS... I BECOME A BETTER A PERSON. NOW, I ENDED THAT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE TO BEGIN A NEW ONE.