Ellie

Kindness, sympathy, blame, anger

Much better than clinic abortion, lucky enough to have good friends around & during the abortion no-one to make me feel bad or like i should be punished (which was my experience with a clinic abortion in Spain 3 years ago). Blankets, 2 hot water bottles for the pain, i started at 2pm, slept 12 hours later and in the morning had practically no more pain

Mainly just that i knew i´m not ready. One day i want to bring a child into this world that i want and love, i didn´t want to project my depression over the thought of a baby now in my life onto a innocent being. The other reasons that helped this descision were a insane father (short, intense relationship where i took morning after pill & it didnt work) with anger problems, desires to take me to court over possession of the child. Just knew it would be a miserable existence for all of us involved...

I could say i passed through every emotion possible at one moment or another but after having a very negative experience a few years ago i felt much surer this time that this was right for me. Now it is over i feel a peace that i wasn´t expecting to be so strong. We all have the right to choose our experiences in life, i had trouble at first as to some degree i believe in destiny & i thought maybe that if this was the right choice i would have a natural miscarriage but i have learnt that it doesnt work that way. You have to search out what you want and work at it, i went to many pharmacies before i found one of the pills & now i just know that the universe supported my descision beacause i feel peace. If you are spiritual dont let other people tell you that abortion isnt the right way for you- listen to your inner self, your feelings. This may be "out-there" for some people but i really believe that spirits choose their parents & what they want to experience... if you choose to have an abortion, they have chosen YOU to experience that & when a soul wants to be born & have you as its mother, that will happen. Strength & love to all *