Li

My first option when I found out that I was pregnant was to terminate it medically. Because abortion is illegal in my country, it is known as a taboo. It is not being spoken openly nor is it taught in school. Being a little desperate, the choice of drug available wasn't right, nor effective. But I took it anyway. It didn't affect that pregnancy. A few days after, I seeked professional advice instead. That should have been my first step, and every expecting mothers out there too. The first clinic that I went to, wasn't very supportive. I didn't get to talk to the doctor and instead got pushed into setting up an abortion that very day by the nurse at the reception counter itself. She wasn't being discreet nor polite about it. When I finally got to meet the doctor, he insisted the only way to abort the baby is through surgery (even before he did a scan on me). This is not true, depending on your pregnancy, you have a few options to choose from as I found out later. He did a vaginal scan, after claiming he couldn't see the baby through an ultrascan (which is also not true), and I found out I was six weeks pregnant. I decided to visit another doctor instead.

The 2nd doctor, did an ultrascan on me, and explain what was on the screen, we could see the fetus, he then referred me to another gynae. The gynae then performed another vaginal scan on me, to confirm the pregnancy and if it was in the womb or not. He explained the procedure to me before doing the scan. Afterwards, he explained my options to me. If I had discovered my pregnancy earlier, I could've terminated it medically. I was given two pills before the surgery, and was directed to change into a surgical gown. A nurse then lead me to the surgical room where the surgery would be performed. I was given a dose of anaesthetics through injection after lying on the operation bed. The next thing I knew was waking up from a deep sleep in the recovery bed. I woke up in less than an hour, fully aware. It was quick, and I'm glad to have it done with the right doctor. I'm experiencing light bleeding now, and occasional cramps. I was given antibiotics and painkillers after the procedure. There will be a follow up check up in two weeks time to see if the womb has fully recovered.

To put it simply, I wasn't ready to raise a family. I knew if i were to have one, I would have to be the best I can be, and I'm not, not at this time. The father is from a foreign country, and we have been together for two years now. My family, albeit a racist one, will never accept him. And being the traditionalist that they are, saying that they would be enraged that we have been seeing each other would be an understatement. Announcing the pregnancy just wasn't an option for me. I'm still undergoing my studies, and my boyfriend has been very supportive. This is something, that will always be at the back of my mind. Sure, I wish this ordeal never happened, but I can't go around changing that. I just hope to use my experience positively. To empower other women in my country Malaysia that they have other options besides going through with the pregnancy. Sex before marriage is also an act that is being condemned badly here.

I felt helpless mostly throughout the ordeal. Information was very limited on the issue of abortion since it's illegal in my country. Views on abortion were very closed-minded too as can be seen in the limited forums available. As soon as someone seeks help, they are condemned as being 'murderers'. I just hope pregnant mothers in my country get more information on the topic, and letting them weigh their option, instead of forcing through with the pregnancy when in reality bringing more harm than good.

I knew what I had to do as soon as I realized I was pregnant. And I'm glad it went smoothly. A lot of expecting ladies do not know of the available options there. I'm not encouraging abortions, but just hoping that mothers are justly given their options.