C

I never told anyone not even my partner what I was doing. My partner knew I was pregnant once the cramps and bleeding started I told him I was having a miscarriage.

I was just over nine weeks pregnant when I carried out the medical abortion at home with mifepristone and misoprostol obtained from women on web. This was the only option I had as I couldn't afford to go to England. I did a lot of research before taking the tablets and I would advise other women to do the same. My main concern was if it would be successful beyond nine weeks. The mifepristone tablet had no side effects. I took the misoprostol about 30 hours later and the cramps and bleeding began about 2 hours after taken the first dose. The bleeding and cramps were quite severe more than I expected even though I was over nine weeks. It was a frightening experience and at one stage I thought of going to hospital. Be prepared to pass clots some quite large. I would not recommend doing this on your own. I felt secure having my partner with me. The cramps subsided about 10 hours later, paracetamol didn't really help but I took codeine/paracetamol which eased the pain. I felt very 'drained' over the next few days following the abortion and 'numbed' by the experience. But the feelings have passed and I know I have made the right decision despite my beliefs.

I already have 3 children over the age of 12. I had them in my twenties and as they are older my life is more my own. I have a happy home life and good career and I don't feel I could cope with another child. I was mindful of my age and that of my partners and didn't want a child to have older parents. I also feel that my children would also have been affected by a brother/sister much younger than them.

The experience was frightening but after the worst of it was over I did feel relieved but also sad for the loss of my child. I also feel guilty about what I have done but I believe it was the right decision for me and my family. Before deciding to have an abortion it is important to be absolutely sure of your decision